True but thats because hes a fetus.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
