I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize