used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
