3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
