I bet he comes in French.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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