Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
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