Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize