i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
and you fell through a lawn chair
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize