You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
North Korea, Best Korea!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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