yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
