The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
