gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
