mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize