ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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