Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
