he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
