do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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