You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
