I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
