I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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