I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
