I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
