that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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