I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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