Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
