Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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