Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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