I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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