I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Sext me about skeletons
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
