do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
