U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
