I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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