I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
