In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
