Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
MIDGETS
????
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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