is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize