I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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