nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I still have a little drunk in my system
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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