I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
