So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
