Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
