She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
