I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
