He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize