Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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