What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
