Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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