Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
