I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
