id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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