Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You dont lie about slip and slides
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
