Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
