Can i not drive my cunt home
even my farts smell like vagina
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
