i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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