why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Someone signed my nipple.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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