I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
