I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
