It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
