sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
