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The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
