i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
