I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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