I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
