if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she was so not down for the gang bang
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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