In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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