Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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