Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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