You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
As shirtless as possible
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize