so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
