how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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